Teaching My Almost 4-Year-Old Decision-Making Skills

During storytime today, my husband Branson (not his real name, as he values his privacy) posed a question to Evan, our almost 4-year-old. Evan disliked the question and refused to answer. Branson stated that he wouldn't continue reading unless Evan responded, leading to a stalemate. Evan was clearly unhappy. It occurred to me that it might be time to introduce Evan to some decision-making skills. I was unsure how much he would grasp, but it seemed worth attempting. Since he can read a few simple words, I thought of putting some options on paper.

I asked Evan what he wanted from Dada and what Dada expected from him. My goal was to clarify the cause of the disagreement by listing the differences. Evan expressed his desire for Branson to read to him but was unwilling to answer his dad's question, whereas his dad required an answer. I noted the following on a piece of paper:

- Evan: Wants Dada to read but does not want to answer his question.

- Dada: Wants Evan to answer his question.

'Okay, now that we understand each other's desires, let's consider some options that might work for you,' I suggested. He shared his thoughts, and I wrote them clearly on a large piece of paper so he could also read the list:

Options:

1. Answer Dada’s question, so that Dada will continue reading.

2. Evan makes Dada read (his explanation seemed to imply a playful physical approach, possibly climbing on Branson as if he were a tree).

3. Evan persistently requests Dada to read (which I interpreted as possibly shouting).

4. Evan reads by himself.

5. Mama reads to him for 5 minutes (given how tired I was, I limited it to five minutes).

We reviewed all the options and discussed the possible outcomes. I was open to him trying various approaches to find one that suited him, but he chose option 5, saying, 'I don’t like option 1; I don't want to answer Dada’s question. Options 2 and 3 won't work, and I don’t like reading by myself, so I’ll pick option 5.' I asked if he was content with his decision, and yes he was. He then went to bed without any further issues.

Typically, I give Evan 2-3 options for him to chose from. Today was the first time I asked him to consider his wishes alongside someone else's (his dad's) and to brainstorm a list of options.

Though this post isn't directly about financial education, I wanted to share this experience. Empowering children to make their own decisions, just like managing their finances, can be incredibly enriching.